But Rather The Beginning
by Dum.vita.est.spes.est
Summary: A series of one shots providing different snapshots into Emma and Regina's ever-changing relationship aboard the Jolly Roger, leading up to the moments detailed in Not Yet The End. SQ.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thank you all for so many positive reviews on Not Yet The End! In an effort to fill in the gaps, this fic will be an amalgamation of one shots detailing SQ's relationship at various points in their journey in Neverland, all leading up to the events in Not Yet The End. Standard disclaimers: I own nothing. Reviews and suggestions welcome! **

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With both elbows resting on the coarse wooden railing of the Jolly Roger, Emma stared out at the calm sea and into the darkness, wondering just how her life came to be so ridiculous.

Wasn't having the most famous fairy tale couple for parents, her biological son raised by an Evil Queen, and her first love being the son of the devious Rumplestilskin enough? Apparently the universe didn't think so. So after ogres, enchanted zombies, and Cora's sick and twisted witchcraft, Emma Swan, previously an orphaned lone wolf, found herself trapped on a pirate ship in another world with a sleazy captain, her parents, a witch, and an imp. All for Henry.

Her heart twisted at the thought of her missing son. _Please let him be ok_, she silently begged whatever power was listening. She reflected on her day, about how a siren had posed as her son, and how she completely lost it, jumping into the dangerous Neverland waters, and nearly drowning in her desperation to reach "Henry." She would have died had it not been for Regina, who had realized Emma's error and pulled her out with magic just in the nick of time. After the rescue, the Queen remained in her chambers, locked away for Emma's doting parents as they fussed over their daughter.

Her musings were interrupted by light footfalls, as the former Mayor slinked her way to the ship's stern. _Speak of the Devil_. Emma watched from the shadows as the Queen grasped the railing, and lost most of her dignity and grace as she vomited straight off the ship.

Concerned, Emma quickly and quietly approached Regina, who was now taking deep breaths with her forehead resting on the ship.

"What could you possible want from me at this hour, at this exact moment, Miss Swan," Regina's biting tone was nearly enough to stop Emma in her tracks. Nearly.

"Relax Regina, I just wanted to make sure you were ok," Emma retorted, with just a bit of impatience. Why on earth was Regina constantly prickly? They had worked together in the mine to save Storybrook, and Regina had saved her ass this afternoon, but the moment Emma tries to extend the olive branch, the Queen reverts back to defensive mode.

"As you can see, I'm just fine, and have no use for your assistance, so you can just…" Regina's snark was cut short as she once again turned her face to the sea to expel her stomach's contents. This time though, she felt a gentle hand sweep her hair back, and another rub up and down her spine.

When Regina was finished, exhaustion took over, and she leaned back into the Sheriff's form, allowing the Sheriff close in her vulnerability.

"Look Regina. If we're going to rescue Henry, we have to put aside our differences. You're not alone anymore. We're all here for him, and we need to be strong for him."

She felt Regina try to pull away, so Emma tightened her hold.

"Please just listen. I'm scared. I think about him every moment. I know you do too. You've heard me cry at night, just like I've heard you. We have to stop avoiding it Regina. We're both his mothers, and we should be able to lean on each other."

It was perhaps the most eloquent thing Emma had managed to say to Regina since they had arrived in Neverland a few days prior.

"You can't do what you did today," came the Queen's rejoinder. "That scared me too."

It was the most honest Regina had been to the Savior's face since beginning their journey.

Silence descended upon the two women, as they looked out across the waves, Emma's arm still wrapped around Regina's tiny frame.

"Come on, you should get some sleep," Emma said, gently exerting some pressure on Regina's shoulders.

As the padded across the deck, Regina brought them to a stop, and stuck out her hand. Emma looked at her questioningly.

"Well you wanted a truce, didn't you Miss Swan?" Regina was petulant in her reply, a small smile breaking through.

Emma took the proffered hand and squeezed gently, her heart fluttering in a not so unpleasant way.

"Truce."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Standard Disclaimers. Un-betaed. Reviews welcome! You guys rock!**

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"Again."

That little word taunted one Emma Swan, former bounty hunter and orphan, who found herself lying flat on her back on the deck of the Jolly Roger, with the wind knocked out of her…for the fifth time that day.

"Come now Miss Swan, get up and do it again. Giving up isn't very Savior-like of you." Regina sauntered over to Emma's prone form, her trademark smirk in place.

"Regina, don't you think that's enough for today? You've been going at it for hours." Snow White bent down to help her daughter up, concerned that Emma had yet to utter a word.

"Oh, I'm sorry Snow, am I here to teach your daughter how to defend herself, or to coddle her?" No one could miss the bite in Regina's tone, as she turned to face her former step-daughter head on.

Snow barely even opened her mouth before Regina continued, "Do you think she's going to have a moment to rest when we're surrounded by shadows, lost boys, and God knows what else? Do you think they'll let her feel comfortable before they launch an attack?" Regina circled the pair, coming dangerously close to Snow's face.

"No, they will not. Because they are monsters, out for blood. They thrive on weakness. You saw what happened with the siren. Your daughter is woefully unprepared to defend herself against the likes of this world. If you want to coddle her, be my guest, but if she trains with me, she will be learning the hard way. I will not be responsible for causing Henry more heartache because his sorry excuse for a mother can't be bothered to learn how to fight like a big girl. Grow up my dear, you're not an orphaned scrappy thief anymore."

Regina ended her tirade toe to toe with Snow, who was seething. But before Snow could come to her daughter's defense, Emma lost it.

"What the fuck Regina!? You think I'm not trying?! And WHY do you have to take jabs at my past? I'm trying here ok. This shit is really fucked up," Emma violently shoved Regina, who responded with a smirk, a raised eyebrow, and a rejoinder that signaled her apparent death wish.

"Oh come now Miss Swan, I expected more from a prison rat with a prostitute's pedigree."

That last taunt broke Emma's resolve. Without thinking about anything but her intense angry towards the former Mayor, the Savior extended her hands and blasted the Queen straight off her feet. Part of her brain registered Regina's victorious smirk before her back collided violently with the main mast, hitting the hardwood with a sickening splat. She slumped forward and lay unmoving on the deck.

Snow eyed her daughter with shock, as Charming came running up the stairs, seeking to ensure that his wife and daughter were ok.

Emma started down at her own hands. Her anger had completely dissipated, and in its place was a twisting sense of guilt. She had, once again, played right into Regina's hands, allowing the Queen to manipulate Emma's inherent but deep seeded anger into sheer magical energy.

Expecting a jibe from the Queen at any moment, Emma looked up, her defenses high. However, seeing Regina's unmoving form quickly prompted her into action.

"Oh my God, Regina!"

Emma skidded to a halt beside her son's mother's body, and gently lifted Regina's head from her chest. She felt for a pulse, and heaved a great sigh of relief when she felt the steady thumping of her heartbeat. Carefully, she sat down against the mast, and pull Regina's head into her lap, careful to avoid the bump at the back of the Mayor's head. She patted the Queen's cheeks, trying to garner a response, before Hook sidled up to her.

"Try this love; it wakes even the drunkest of sailors." Emma took the filthy cloth from the Captain's hands, wrinkling her nose at the putrid stench of rotting fish. Not two seconds after taking the cloth, chocolate eyes fluttered open. Though hazy at first, Regina's eyes soon registered where she was and who was bending over her.

Almost immediately, Regina struggled out of the Sheriff's arms, stubbornly rising to her feet. Emma grabbed her arm, and said, "Jesus Regina, are you trying to get yourself killed? Were you purposely taunting me so I'd blast you into oblivion?"

Steadying herself on the mast, Regina snarked, "Well it worked didn't it?"

"That's a really screwed up way to teach magic Regina. What if I had hurt you? What the hell would I tell Henry?"

Regina pushed off the mast, wary of their audience, before declaring, "Miss Swan, I would do anything for my son, even if that means letting his other mother use me as a punching bag, so that she is prepared to fight in battle. That's what you would tell Henry. I neither want your concern nor need it, and if my magical pedagogy doesn't suit you, then you should figure out a better way to access your magic than anger."

At that, the former Mayor turned on her heel, sneered at the Charmings, and hobbled down the stairs to her cabin, leaving a silently fuming Emma in her wake.

Snow rested a hand on her daughter's arm. "It's ok. Give her some time to cool off."

But that wasn't enough for Emma, and she pulled her arm away from her mother. "No, she doesn't get the last word. We have a truce. She doesn't get to act like that anymore."

* * *

From her position on one of the room's small and stinky cots, Regina registered the clobbering of motorcycle boots coming down the stairs and thumping down the hall. _She's worse than Henry sometimes_, the Queen though, before Emma wretched open the door and slammed it behind her.

However, instead of launching into a barely eloquent diatribe as she expected her to, Emma crossed the room quickly, sat next to Regina, and pulled her up and into her arms.

"Miss Swan, unhand me this instant! What are you doing?!"

"Stop it Regina. Stop it with the 'Miss Swan.' Stop acting tough. Stop pushing me away. It's just us. We have a truce. You don't have to put a show on for anyone. I hurt you. I hurt you and I'm so sorry."

Stunned into silence, Regina felt warm tears against her neck. "Just because we have a truce Emma doesn't mean I stop being the Evil Queen. Don't forget, I hurt you too, and for that I'm sorry. I just need you to be ready for what's out there, in case it comes to that."

Emma pulled her head away to meet Regina's gaze. "You haven't been the Evil Queen in a really long time. And you're not dying. Not on my watch. Henry needs you." Carefully, Emma ran her fingers through Regina's hair, feeling for the large bump on her head, the only physical evidence of their most recent altercation.

"Can I heal it?"

Regina's eyes widened at the Sheriff's request, and she offered Emma a wan smile. "Yes, go ahead. Remember, magic is about emotion. You want to focus on healing me."

Emma squeezed her eyes shut, and cradled Regina's head even closer. Slowly, a soft white light emitted from her hands, and Regina smiled at her pupil's progress.

Opening her eyes cautiously, a hesitant emerald gaze took in a smiling queen and laughing chocolate eyes. In awe of herself, Emma breathed, "I did it."

"That you did my dear, thank y…" Regina's thanks was cut off as the Savior surged forward, pushing pale, slightly chapped, pink lips onto her plump red ones.

Instinctually, Regina tightened her hold of Emma's shoulders, melting into the kiss. Her body acted on autopilot, allowing Emma's insistent tongue entry into her waiting mouth. But when the Sheriff shifted her body and let out a low moan, Regina remembered just who she was with, and pulled away from Emma with an audible pop.

Breathing heavily, both parties silently observed each other, trying to determine what this meant, how this would change their relationship, and if it would happen again.

Emma looked so vulnerable in that moment, and Regina's heart thudded painfully in her chest. She hadn't felt like this since Daniel, and though she had no idea what it meant, she decided that it was nothing to fear…for now.

Giving Emma a gentle smile, and whipping some of her own lipstick smudges away from the Savior's mouth, she stood up, and offered her hand to Emma.

"Come on, we better go up before your parents lay siege to our cabin, accusing me of your untimely demise," Regina joked.

Emma took her hand, stood up, and faced Regina, pulling her bottom lip into her mouth in a nervous habit.

"Um, so, like. Do you think we can do that again sometime?" She mumbled, unsure of herself. "I mean, not the whole taunting, arguing, unconscious thing, but you know, like the kissing thing?" She spoke to the ground, afraid of seeing the denial swimming in chocolate depths.

Regina's hand slid under her chin, and tilted her face until they were eye to eye, and then carefully pecked the Sheriff on the lips.

"I don't see why not, Miss Swan. After all, it could be good for our truce." At that, she sashayed out of the room, a certain spring evident in her step.

For a second, Emma just stared after her._ So, the truce includes kissing. That's new._ Smirking, she followed in Regina's wake. _I wonder what else would be good for our truce._


	3. Chapter 3- Lost Girl

A/N: Spoilers for Season 3. Un-betaed. Standard Disclaimers. Please excuse gross grammatical errors. Reviews welcome. I will most likely incorporate some elements of the new season in these one shots, but some chapters might be a complete departure from current events in S3. Enjoy!

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She was nothing but a lost girl. Trapped on an island of insanity, the promise of leaving an orphan, and of having her son reject her once and for all, Emma was understandably overwhelmed. To add to her anxieties, her father had been behaving strangely all night, Mary Margaret had that constant sympathetic yet guilty look in her eye, Hook was pushing to know the real "Swan" and Regina, well Regina was being a right bitch. Some truce, Emma thought morosely, as she stared into the small campfire Hook had allowed them to build.

All around her, the sounds of the dark forest permeated her ears. As it turned out, she appeared to be the only one of their cohort who could hear the muffled cries of abandoned children in the night. Since setting foot on the devilish island, Emma had done her fair share of crying, and longed for the days when she could pick up, get into her bug, and drive to the docks at 3am to let her emotions loose, on her own terms, away from the preying eyes of half of Storybrooke. Alas, Neverland offered no escape from her emotions. It seemed everyone was rawer here, much more vulnerable: Regina in her hostility, Snow in her belief, Charming in his roguish attitude, Hook in his quest to drown his own demons in rum.

Looking away from the fire at her sleeping compatriots, Emma's teary eyes landed on the lump that was Regina, and was immediately startled to find chocolate irises staring right back at her. For a moment, neither woman moved. Emma didn't attempt to wipe away the tears that were now liberally escaping, and Regina didn't hide her shock or empathy for her son's blonde mother.

Now, given Regina's somewhat erratic behavior since landing on Neverland's shores, Emma was expecting several things: perhaps a sneer, perhaps a quip about how she should be more Savior-like, perhaps a comment about getting her act together so they could rescue HER son. Yes, given Regina's behavior, any of those scenarios was a fair guess about what could happen when a former Evil Queen found a Lost Girl turned Savior openly weeping at 2am. But what actually happened was much better.

Regina rose regally, like the queen she once was, quietly slinked across the length of the campsite, and primly joined Emma on her log. Without uttering a word, she opened her arms and drew a reluctant Savior to her chest. She even dared to run her fingers through blonde hair, much like she used to comfort Henry when he was ill. "It's going to be okay."

Emma pulled away from Regina enough to meet her gaze head on.

"He said Henry will hate me. He said that Henry will feel so abandoned that he'll want to stay here. I didn't want to leave him Regina. I wasn't ready to be a mom. And then he got you, and he had everything I didn't: warm embraces, home-cooked meals, a parent who loved him, took care of him, and never raised a hand to him."

Emma took a breath, and continued in a whisper, "He isn't a lost boy. If anything, he's lucky that he has this whole big family all to himself. I never had that. And after this, I might not ever get it."

Emotionally exhausted, she once again dropped her head to Regina's shoulder as a fresh wave of tears erupted.

For her part, Regina took this time to drop her tough woman facade and simply comfort her son's other mother. Away from the prying eyes of her former enemies, Regina could simple be the mother, the lover, and the friend. Rubbing comforting circles on the Savior's back, she mumbled, "It's alright Emma. We'll find him. He won't be lost much longer."

Hugging the blonde closer to her body, she whispered, "You're not lost anymore. I won't let him take Henry or your parents from you. I promise."

At Regina's quiet yet determined words, Emma looked up at the woman who had gone from her son's adopted mother, to full on arch-nemesis, to friend. For the first time since they set foot on the island, Emma allowed a bit of hope to blossom in her chest. How could they fail if the fiercest woman, who brought an entire realm to its knees, was fighting for her?

"Are you just doing this because we have a truce?" Curiosity was evident in Emma's tone as she waited for Regina's response.

Chocolate eyes met inquiring emerald as Regina replied, with a hint of a smile.

"No dear, I'm doing this because of you."

And in the light of the dying fire, two mouths met in a sweet kiss, one that erased pain and instilled hope, one that communicated more things than words ever could.

"Come now," Regina said, standing and offering her hand to Emma, "we both need sleep."

"Will you stay with me?" A tremble was barely discernable in the Savior's question.

"Of course, dear. Always."


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- un-betaed. I own nothing. Reviews welcome. You guys are wonderful. **

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It is always in times of greatest adversity that we discover who we really are, and how far we're willing to go for love.

For the bedraggled and motley crew of the Jolly Roger, now was that time. It became painfully obvious, despite his dismissive nonchalance, that David was getting sicker by the mile. Falling to his knees for the fifth time that hour, Regina's patience was wearing thin.

"That is enough. If we keep moving like this, we're going to kill him."

Snow, who was uncharacteristically on her way to a nervous breakdown, hissed back, "He's fine, we just need to find Pan's lair; he must have some sort of antidote."

Before Regina could engage Snow in yet another useless tète a tète, Emma the peacemaker stepped in.

"Look, Regina's right. We can't keep hacking through the jungle like this. We have to do something."

Shooting Hook an inquisitive look, she directed her question to him.

"Is there any other way we can get our hands on a possible antidote? Or something?"

The Captain fixed her with a hard stare, before replying, "We can try the fairy, Tinkerbell. She's mercurial, doesn't like humans very much, but I bet that she's probably stolen from Pan's stores, love. She might have something that can help. After all, he's robbed her of some fairy dust in the past."

Both Emma and Snow let out a breath, but before they could respond, Hook offered a rejoinder.

"One problem, love. Her place is not exactly what I'd call on the way to Pan's. We're going to have to choose. Her lair or Pan's."

Emma and Regina both uttered "Pan" at the same time Snow whispered "The fairy."

Regina was unsurprised by Snow's response, but Emma visibly recoiled from her mother and prone father.

In an overwhelming show of vulnerability, Snow stood and faced her daughter head on, justifying her decision by saying, "I can't survive this without him."

"So what are we gonna do, Snow? Because every second we're standing here, Henry is out there, suffering and all alone." Emma's reply was without bite, for she understood her mother's position, but the slight hysteria that seemed to accompany Henry's name on the island was ever-present.

"What if we split up?" Regina knew she would be attacked by the mere suggestion of breaking up the group, so she was quick to push her point home.

"Look. We have two serious situations, and time is of the essence. Emma has the map to Pan's lair. She and I have magic. We can keep going, and rescue our son. If Hook knows where Tinkerbell's lair is, he can take you there, Snow, and get David some help."

The rest of the group seemed to consider her suggestion, and in the silence, Charming's voice reached their ears.

"Go get Henry, Emma. Go get your son."

At her father's words, Emma gave a short nod, and turned to face Hook.

"You take care of them alright. You sure you know where you're going?"

Hook gave her a crooked smile, amused at this display of affection from a normally stoic savior. "Yes, love. Not to worry. They'll be safe with me."

In a similar exchange, Snow invaded Regina's personal space. "You better watch out for her Regina. I swear if anything happens to her I'll…"

"Oh save it Snow," Regina interrupted her former step-daughter before she could issue yet another threat. "Miss Swan and I have an arrangement. I'll watch her back, and she's got mine. Besides, Henry would never forgive me if anything happened to her on my watch. I promise you, she's safe with me."

Snow tilted her head, a little taken aback by the Queen's unusually protective tone and words. Regina, uncomfortable with Snow's scrutiny, and her increasingly understanding look, beckoned her partner in crime.

"Come now, Miss Swan, we don't have all day."

Emma knelt down to kiss her father on his fevered forehead, an oddly heartwarming role reversal, and whispered "I love you, Dad."

Rising, she rushed into Snow's waiting arms. "Please don't die. I need you too, Mom"

She could feel Snow's smile against her temple as her mother bestowed a kiss. "I have faith that we'll all be fine. I'm so proud of you, and we both love you, very much."

Regina allowed them another few moments, before interrupting. "Henry's waiting, Miss Swan."

At Regina's words, Emma let her mother go, nodded at the pirate, and brushed past Regina into the jungle.

"Be careful." Snow's parting words were meant for Regina, and made her smile.

"You too, dear."

* * *

Two mothers wandered alone in the forest, one light, and one dark, each with her fair share of demons, baggage, and fear.

Both were tired, a little haggard, and overwhelmed with worry for their son. Not a word was exchanged as each woman continued hacking through the dense overgrowth. Neither trusted themselves to speak, both fearful of what they would say. Each woman would go to hell and back for their son, which meant that despite all promises, threats, and optimistic beliefs, there was a very real chance that one of them wouldn't make it. Henry would always and forever come first. But neither mother wanted to deal with what that might actually mean for the other. Neither wanted to deal with the fluttering butterflies, the pounding hearts, the fear they felt for each other. Instead of opening mouths amid their torrent of emotions, Regina sidled up next to her blonde counterpart, and linked their pinkies. The gesture made Emma startle, and then smile, as she took the Queen's entire hand and enveloped it with hers. The look on Regina's face was like a beacon of light in an ocean of darkness. This was safe, this was calming, and this communicated more than either woman could say with words.

Two mothers marched forward through the dark forest, but joined at the hand, they remembered that they were not alone. They were off to save their son, together.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Not mine, un-betaed. Please excuse any errors. Reviews welcome!

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It was nearly time. Pan had given his ultimatum to Emma. Rumple had been sent to retrieve the Charmings and the pirate. Tomorrow, Emma and Regina would enter the lion's den.

A small clearing would be their bed tonight, and the Sheriff and the Mayor broke out into the routine that they had been keeping up for the past few nights. Regina used magic to start a small fire, Emma picked all the edible berries she could find. Their mutual exhaustion was utterly apparent in their lethargic motions. By the time they both sat down in front of the flames, eating handfuls of bittersweet berries, and sharing the small drinking skin that Regina had conjured days ago, they were ready for bed. But, though it was necessary for the battle they'd face tomorrow, sleep was most likely the last thing on their agenda for the night. The mothers were far too worried, far too anxious, and knew that this might be the last time they had to be alone together.

At first it was just a touch, a pale hand grazing over an olive wrist. Unconsciously, they shifted closer together, until there was hardly any space between them. Hearts were racing, breaths intermingled, eyes met in an intense stare-down. The Savior raised a hand to the Queen's face, carefully caressing the soft skin at her cheek. Dark eyes fluttered closed, as a whispered "Emma" met her ears.

Slowly, carefully, lips met in a tentative kiss. Tongues explored, hands roamed, bodies shifted to more comfortable positions, and even a moan was let forth. But when the two broke apart for air, they did not move away from each other. Rather, they stayed connected, took a breath, and kissed again, this time much more urgently and heated. This could be the last time, and they had to make the most of it. Regina found herself on her back, gazing up at the hooded green eyes of her Savior. She allowed herself a smile, and gave into the feelings she so frequently denied herself. In this moment, on a dirty forest floor, lost, and potentially at death's door, she was happy. In her heart of hearts, she knew that this was what love felt like. And as Emma continued ravishing her neck and collarbone, Regina just wanted to admit it, just this once, just in case.

Pulling gently on blonde tresses so their eyes met, Regina whispered words that she thought she'd never say to another adult again. "I love you."

And Emma, the woman who swore off love when Neal came back into her life, only to leave it again, beamed at the words. Smiling, she kissed plump ruby lips passionately, cradling Regina's face in her hands as if it was the most precious of treasures. "I love you too, Regina. No matter what happens, you need to know. I think I loved you all along. I should have told you sooner, we wasted so much time."

"I know, my love. I know. But we have now." Regina's reply was heartfelt, sincere, and compassionate. Another kiss, another touch, another warm caress. Lips met again, and the queen waved a hand to extinguish the fire, as bodies continued moving, and clothes were hastily removed.

* * *

Sometime later, in the afterglow, two mothers lay entwined, as close to each other as humanly possible. Regina listened to the steady heartbeat of her new lover, reveling in the soft puffs of air that brushed her hair, indicating that Emma was asleep. In that moment, she knew that she would do everything in her power to keep this woman alive, even if that meant paying the price with her own life. She was oddly at peace with her decision, but was sure that if Emma knew, the Sheriff would put up quite the fight. She lifted her head from Emma's chest, and took in features softened by much needed sleep. Kissing her forehead, Regina murmured "I love you," before closing her eyes and letting sleep claim her. In the morning, their truce would come to an end.


End file.
